Help! I received a
And I am unsure what to do!
First of all...
...the person who gave you the vOUCHer felt you were a person who could do what they asked.
Work through the list of options below and consider if they work for you.
Stay Calm
Listen
It is all about them
If the vOUCHer is for the person to receive emotional support remember to keep the interaction all about them, their story and feelings.
Open questions are a fantastic way to keep the focus on the person in need. For example:
"How did that make you feel?" or
"That sounds difficult, what happened next?"
Empower them
Reflecting back
Occasionally repeating back the keyword or sentence can help the person who needs you to feel they are being listened to and understood. Thus permitting them to carry on sharing their story and feelings. For example:
"I am finding everything very challenging right now."
"Challenging?" - This keyword shows that you have listened to and recognised the main point.
"Yes, I am out of my depth"
"Out of your depth?" - Recognising the key sentence once again demonstrates you have listened, heard and know what has been stated.
Reflecting or repeating back is a great way to show you care. Just remember not to use it too much, else you could sound like a parrot and mocking.
Clarify what is being said
If you are unsure about anything that is being said it is ok to clarify to make sure that you are seeing the situation as they see it. This demonstrates that you are listening and interested in what is being said. Some examples are:
"When you say you have had enough, what do you mean?"
"You want to get away from everything? Tell me more about that"
"You mentioned you were angry, is that anger at the situation or the person?"
The phrases that help in clarifying are "Tell me more about..." and "What do you mean when you say...".
When to speak
Only speak and give advice if it is necessary, honest and kind to do so. Most of the time the person who needs support just wants to be listened to and have their feelings and situation acknowledged.
Additional Support
If you feel the need to, speak to someone you trust who can help and support you with guidance and advice.
Alternatively, If you feel you need some emotional support prior to actioning the vOUCHer remember you can always contact Samaritans or Shout.
Further tips can be viewed in these videos:
Supporting you
01
Help!
I gave a vOUCHer...
...and they have not got back to me.
02
Help!
I received a vOUCHer...
...and I am unsure what to do.
03
Help!
I need more support...
where can I get it?
vOUCHers
Each book has 24 vOUCHers that can be used to get the emotional support you may need. There are 12 different types of vOUCHers and the book has 2 of each.
Helpful Information
Before each vOUCHer there is a short description of how the support being requested from a vOUCHer may be able to help.
Additional Support
Whether or not you have received the support you needed from the vOUCHer, you may feel you need some extra support. In the book, we list some organisations you may find helpful.
Louise
"I am a learning mentor in a school who also has a son aged 15 with ADD and who is also ASD, He struggled to vocalise his worries because even a small worry grew so fast that it resulted in a meltdown because it became too big to manage. We had Vouchers recommended and they have
worked a treat, now, even when he feels a little worry that he has no reason for he uses a voucher to let me know there’s something amiss and then I know to chat. Before vOUCHers, he would be worried about not knowing why he was feeling like he was and I would not know to ask.
What an AMAZING resource for families and children."
Stephen Parsons
Author of Language for Behaviour and Emotions
"I think your book is brilliant. Such a simple idea, well executed. From time to time many children will have things on their minds that they are not sure how to raise. In those unsure moments the Vouchers approach provides a bridge to asking for help this opening up the conversation. It is useful for every child, but is particularly relevant to the most vulnerable. I can see Safeguarding leads jumping on this."
By Emma Walters
"Really pleased with the quality and thoughtfulness that have gone in to these. My 10 year old struggles to find the words sometimes to tell me what’s worrying her and is worried about being told off. These ouchers are brilliant in that she can hand one to me and I’ll know instantly that she needs me to stop and take time to listen - something I can be guilty off forgetting when busy."
By Trish Hicken
"I cannot recommend this enough. It is such a good idea. It consists of vouchers that a child or young person (or adult) can choose to give to a person that they would like help from. It allows a child to let go of something they are worrying about as it gives them permission to talk about it rather than bottling it up. Each voucher also has some supporting information as well which is a valuable addition."
By Dad at home
"I bought this book as it was recommended by a friend to use with my children. Each of the vouchers have supporting information which made it so much more. It's been well received by my children who have already used some of the vouchers to talk to me on things that may not done in the past- it's like it gave them permission to talk to me. Completely surpassed my expectations. And if it saves my children therapy in the future by talking now, its well worth the £10."
By KJ
"This is a great little book for communicating with your family members who may have gone quiet over the lockdown.
Give them this book and use the vouchers to encourage a positive relationship, during this difficult time or any time we have busy lives trying to succeed as a family, we often miss the signs. This will keep open the chat."
By Sean Burrows
"Great book for children and their parents to communicate better, and helping children when they don't know how to handle a situation. Thoroughly recommended for anyone with children, tweenagers and teenagers."
By Lois Daniels
"I work with children on a daily basis who struggle to verbalise their thoughts and emotions. This book gives children and young people an opportunity to seek support without having to talk about things. This is an amazing book and I couldn’t recommend it more. Brilliant idea!"
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